i am in a terribly bad mood.
i am totally burned out.
i am too tired to carry on.
i am so stressed up by all the commitments,
i feel as if im gonna snap any time.

beneath the smiles,
lie a troubled soul.
beneath the mundane,
lie the pain.
beneath the facade,
lie tears and rain.

if only you knew
how much i needed you
if only you understood
what i am going through right now
if only you were
just there for me.

i feel like giving up
i feel as if i am aimless
i feel so lost
i feel as if i am about to fall

this chaotic mess within me
is strangling
this whirlpool of emotions
is sucking me deeper and deeper

a mask i hold
the unadorned illusion
penetrate through the facade
beneath it all lie a delicate soul

---------------------------------------------

i always wonder what would have happened if my friends all leave church.
i wondered what will happened if i left church one fine day.
sometimes people take others' presence forgrantted and only start to miss it when he/she's gone. i only wish i had none of these thoughts, none of these emotions, none of the pain, sorrow and fatigue.

i'm okay really. just give me some time to reflect and rest.